Members of a popular internet forum have rushed to the defense of a father-to-be accused of humiliating his brother-in-law on his birthday.
In a viral Reddit post posted to r/AmITheA**hole, Redditor u/Throwthe4257 (otherwise known as the original poster, or OP) recounted multiple heated reactions with his sister’s husband and how a recent gift from anniversary had caused tension. .
Entitled, “[Am I the a**hole] for giving my [brother-in-law] a parenting book for his birthday and embarrassing [him] in front of everyone?” the post received nearly 7,000 upvotes and 700 comments in the last 10 hours.
Writing that he regularly visits his sister, who has two children and is seven months pregnant, the original poster stated that he noticed his brother-in-law rarely helps with parenting duties.
The original poster also said that when he and his wife revealed they were expecting their first child, his brother-in-law made sure to destroy the exciting announcement.
“My [brother-in-law] does little or nothing around the house or even childcare,” OP wrote. “My sister is 7 months pregnant [and] he keeps making her lift heavy things, chase after the kids, bathe them and cook for them.”
“He claims he’s usually not that ‘unavailable’ but since it’s ‘football season’ he has to make up every game,” OP continued. “I was starting to get irritated…especially after he ruined…my wife’s first pregnancy announcement by asking my wife if ‘she’s sure I’ll be a decent dad.'”
For his brother-in-law’s recent birthday, the original poster said he was struggling to choose a present, but finally found something perfect and waited for the perfect moment to present it.
This moment, however, turned out to be another interrogation of the woman from the original poster.
“[He] kept nagging my wife about pregnancy saying there is an 80 [percent] lucky i become a deadbeat dad,” OP wrote. [and] gave him a book about parenting… called ‘The Gift of Failure’.”
“He just glanced at me then stormed off…my sister ran after him then came back later saying he had calmed down after turning the [TV] about a football game,” OP continued. “He emailed me later saying I had embarrassed him and made fun of him in front of everyone and demanded that I publicly apologize.”
On the internet, family and marriage websites have examined the strained relationship between in-laws and provided potential solutions to a myriad of related issues.
But while Family Education and other media advise individuals to keep an open mind about their in-laws and set boundaries if necessary, tensions between in-laws can be more complex and often unavoidable.
Recently, Newsweek reported on numerous Reddit threads detailing furious clashes between brothers-in-law and other family members, including a brutal and public takedown similar to the original poster, and an additional pair of threads in which two sisters-in-law despised called their husbands sisters for their childish and “incompetent” behavior.
In all three cases, Redditors sided strongly with those willing to stand up to a mean and angry brother-in-law and praised the mental toughness needed to do so.
In the case of the original poster, the reaction was largely the same, with Redditors praising OP for hitting back at his brother-in-law’s actions.
“[His wife] must avoid his distracted tantrums…like a toddler,” Redditor u/that_ginger927927 wrote in the lead comment of the post, which received nearly 11,000 upvotes.
“Absolutely [not the a**hole]”, they added. “He needs a revival.”
Redditor u/ExcitementGlad2995, whose comment received over 3,500 upvotes, echoed that sentiment and laid some of the blame on the original poster’s sister.
“She might need a wake up call too,” they wrote. “The path [he] plays means that she has to take care of three and soon to be four children.
“I hope she starts to realize this and decides if she wants to be a mother/wife of an adult,” they added.
In a separate comment, which received over 1,000 upvotes, Redditor u/Katana1369 also commented on the original poster’s sister but, unlike u/ExcitementGlad2995, held her husband guilty for refusing to help. the House.
“He was projecting his poor upbringing onto you,” they wrote. “You can embarrass him every day just by being a good father.”
“I’m so sorry for your sister, but she obviously chose to be a single mother despite having the father of her children right there,” they added.
Newsweek has contacted u/Throwthe4257 for comment.